Who says all curses have to be scary? Some… can be sexy. Sex and horror have gone hand in hand for quite some time, but what about when the sex IS the horror? Let’s take a look at six horror films where that is exactly the case.

          Please be aware of moon-sized spoilers for the below films, as well as some saucy summaries concerning sexy sicknesses.

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SPOILERS FOR:

Cat People (1982)

The Special (2020)

Thirst (2009) 

Shivers (1975)

Trouble Every Day (2001)

It Follows (2014)

Nina Forever (2015)

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Cat People (1982)

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          Irena, a virgin (it’s important to the story, don’t look at me like that) travels to New Orleans to reconnect with her long-estranged brother Paul.

          After Paul tries to have sex with her, there is some drama at the local zoo about an escaped panther, and a bunch of bones are found in Paul’s basement, he shows up to tell Irena that they are werecats, their bloodline cursed long ago. Whenever they have sex with a human, they turn into a panther and the only way to turn back is to kill a human.

          Ultimately Irena gets the zookeeper to have sex with her so she can “be with her own kind” and winds up in the completely unacceptably tiny and featureless zoo enclosure her brother formerly occupied.

          Paws well that ends well! …sorry.

 

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The Special (2020)

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          Jerry thinks his wife is having an affair so, rather than possibly speaking to her and voicing his concerns, his buddy takes him to a brothel to f*** a box.

          This box, known in the brothel as “the special” quickly triggers an addiction in Jerry and he becomes obsessed with it, and its frequent use.

          It is an on the nose allegory for more traditional addiction and eventually Jerry has murdered the proprietor of the brothel, stolen the box, and holed up with it… pun intended, I’ll be honest… in a cheap dwelling to get as weird as he wants, as much as he wants.

          When the special’s health suddenly fails and dies in Jerry’s weeping arms, a transformation begins to take place and Jerry turns all gloopy and gross.

          That’s when, with a freshly crafted box with a hole in it, the bouncer of the brothel shows up, pulls off Jerry’s head, and sticks it in the box to bring back to the brothel.

          There’s an old navy joke about a barrel with a hole in it that comes to mind…

 

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Thirst (2009) BONUS ENTRY

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          A Korean priest feels giving last rites to the dying isn’t noble, isn’t SELFLESS and impactful enough, so he volunteers to be infected with a dreadful disease in Africa in an effort to devise a cure.

As with all the other dozens of infected, he dies on the ICU table… only unlike the other dozens of infected, he very shortly thereafter starts breathing again.

          It turns out the blood he was hooked up to on that ICU table was vampire blood and he is now a creature of the night. However, he is still afflicted by the disease which can only be kept at bay with the healing power of drinking human blood.

          But none of that is important to the purposes of this list, what IS important is it also makes him suuuuper horny! He starts hooking up with the married highschool crush he happens upon after returning from Africa and it turns out, she is a super-duper mega freak and the priest’s sudden interest in her unleashes a repressed beast.

          After quite a lot of interpersonal drama, he turns her into a vampire and she does the fastest transition to “these people are like ants to me and what use does a GOD have for ANTS” in history.

          So her reckless, sadistic murders become his responsibility to control and she is NOT into it.

          It’s a classic “the road to hell is paved with good intentions story…” but with a lot more blood and sex than you may picture when you think of that phrase.

 

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Shivers (1975)

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          A deranged biologist and Bonafide statutory assaulter in a luxury apartment building decides people think too much and have lost touch with their instinct. Too much brain not enough guts.

          So he sets out to make… “a parasite combination of aphrodisiac and venereal disease which will hopefully turn the world into one beautiful mindless orgy.”

          Some of these words I like… but most I don’t…

          Anabelle, building resident and former assault victim of the good doctor is implanted with the parasite and starts f***ing everyone in the building, which leads to the simultaneous maturity of some very horny parasites for a gross practical effect heavy tenement pandemic.

          The resident physician for the swanky building whose carpet most certainly does not match the drapes and his nurse who he is also sleeping with—super profesh—set out to help those they can and hopefully escape.

          I will say, there have been less cordial outbreaks seeing as the infected appear to be having a great time just with each other and keep referring to what they are doing as “making love.”

          28 Days Later would have been a very different film if all the rage zombies were, for the most part, politely pitching woo to Cillian Murphy

 

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Trouble Every Day (2001)

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          Shane and his new bride June take their honeymoon to Paris, but the Shane has a hidden goal of tracking down Leo, an old colleague of Shane’s who may have knowledge, or a cure, for a quirky urge he has to eat people he has sex with.

          Maybe quirky is the wrong word… I know I said I wanted you to devour me in the bedroom, darling, but this is not what I meant.

          Long ago, Shane and Leo connected on a project regarding a plant which could aid with certain neurological issues, including reduced libido. Leo wasn’t willing to begin human trials, but Shane was. Also Shane had the hots for Leo’s wife Core.

          Skipping ahead, Core has been escaping the house Leo tries to keep her locked in, seducing men and then eating them, leaving Leo to bury the bodies and clean her up.

          It’s not really clear what exactly happened in the interim to make Core this way and subsequently infect Shane as well, but what is clear is that, by the end of the movie, Shane gives into the urge and…

          Let’s just say he seems to have misinterpreted a vulgar colloquial phrase used to describe the act female-focused mouth stuff…

          No, I will not be showing a clip.

 

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It Follows (2014)

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          When Jay finally gets it on with her boyfriend in his vintage car while parked in an abandoned parking lot, classy, it turns out when they did the dirty, he did her dirty.

          Jay has now inherited the focused ire of an entity which is always walking straight toward the latest recipient of the curse with murderous intention.

          It can change its appearance, sometimes being someone you know, sometimes a stranger, and if it catches you… well…

          While we see a victim in the opening scene of the film, we only ever see it actively kill one person and it does so by disguising itself as his mom and then engaging in a little death by snu snu. So… yikes.

 

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Nina Forever (2015)

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          We’ve all had an ex pop into our head while we grope for trout in the peculiar river, but imagine if your ex popped into your bed… and was mangled and ruining your sheets with an almost unbelievable amount of blood and gore for a single human body because she died brutally in a crash… and it is literally EVERY time you bring an al dente noodle to the spaghetti house.

          Well, that is exactly Rob’s problem when amorous coworker Holly, who is intent of fixing what she perceives as a broken man, finally gets him to Slither-in her Huffle-puff.

          The titular Nina pops out of the sheets like she was living in the mattress in a pool of viscera, waiting to feel the headboard rattle.

          Obviously, that’s pretty jarring, but Holly overcomes the obstacle with shocking ease and begins to brainstorm solutions. She figures Nina needs to be properly honored to move on, getting a tattoo of Nina Forever. As a sign of reverence and remembrance.

          As the film reaches its third act, it becomes clear that Rob’s pain was keeping Nina coming back, but Holly’s fixation on Rob and Nina’s past—an obsession she had before even knowing the whole of his situation—transferred the curse to her.

          For Holly, Nina is now truly forever… every time she decides to do squat thrusts in the cucumber patch. Sorry, I had to do one more.